Sunday, December 11, 2011

OPINION: An Open Letter to Jack White

Dear Jack,

My name is Josh Custodio. I hold you in very high regard. De Stijl was one of the albums that got me into music, Get Behind Me Satan helped expand my tastes, Consolers of the Lonely housed some of my favourite guitar lines ever.

Jack, I am writing you this letter, because I am confused. Your name attached to anything used to be a litmus test for quality, a project that I would certainly love. As a young superfan of The White Stripes, I was so excited for more output from you! Broken Boy Soliders delivered in a big way. When I heard you were hopping back behind the drumkit in The Dead Weather, I was ecstatic. I loved Horehound! That project also introduced me to Alison Mosshart, thanks for that.

You know, I loved the consistency of the product we got from you. I love the format of the Stripes' CDs! The first song was the single, the last song was a joke, and there was a song with the word "Little" in the title. The vocals were gonna scream, the guitar lines were going to tear, and the production was going to be one-of-a-kind in this decade. You knew what you were getting, and it was always good.

But since 2010, you've been toying with my heart. The first piece of output we got from you outside your three bands, was that recording you did with Conan O' Brien. I was actually pretty cool with that, I'm a fan of Conan, and have enjoyed your guys' ongoing relationship throughout the years. Given what happened to him with the Tonight Show it seemed like you helping a bro out, giving him a chance to showcase something that his audience didn't really know he had.

Shortly after that recording however, I found out that my beloved White Stripes were breaking up. I was devastated. I took part in the #RIPwhitestripes hashtags, I wished that it had just been a rumour, or one of your many tricks. Sadly, it turned out to be true, and since then our relationship just hasn't been the same.

I'm starting to discover that you have some sort of affection for comedians. As with the aforementioned Conan release, you also have done left-field team ups with Stephen Colbert and now this John C Reilly one?! Jack, you're too talented for this! I don't mean to tell you what to do, but please, release a CD of your own material! You're too good for this!

Nonetheless, I can overlook most things. My admiration for you is high. There's one thing I can't overlook though Mr. White. This. Why would you team up with the consensus worst musical group of the past 20 years? An Insane Clown Posse/Jack White collaboration was the final nail in the coffin. I just don't get it.

In closing Jack, I don't mean to rag on you too much. I re-listened to Icky Thump today, and of course it still kicks ass. I look at videos like this and remember how nobody has energy on stage like you. Third Man Records is cool, I like that you're able to sell out of hard copy vinyl. Ultimately though, please call up Meg and get The White Stripes back together. If that isn't viable, I think I'd settle for a solo CD. I miss you man.

Josh Custodio


  1. You forgot to mention this

  2. Ugh. One more atop a mountain (pun intended)

  3. Great letter, even though I really dislike the White Stripes. But, there is one thing you got wrong... Justin Bieber is the worst thing for music in the last decade or more...ICP is close though :)

  4. I'll take Bieber over ICP any day. Thanks for reading!